Viking Metal: Music To Punch Monsters By

Hi there young man. I understand you have deep seated emotional issues but before you decide to permanently destroy your brain chemistry with anti-depressants I just thought that we should sit down and discuss an alternative treatment program.

-Do you feel completely emasculated by modern society?

-Are you suffering from lingering white guilt?

-Do you find yourself trapped in a victim mentality?

-Are you just not having enough FUN?

Well it just so happens that there is an entire musical sub-genre that addresses all four problems and fits almost perfectly into the developing Right Leaning Counterculture. Come to think of it the only music more Alt-Right than Viking metal would be… I don’t know? Crusader metal but I’m pretty sure that doesn’t exist*, (it will therefore have to be invented.)

Besides if you’re any kind of a gamer it’s just hard not to crack out laughing when you find a new Viking metal band. There’s more of them than you would think and it’s ‘toxic masculinity’ at it’s best. You find yourself first laughing at the sub-genre then intrigued by it. Finally you become inspired by it. Songs of adventure, great battles and brothers in arms standing together against mighty foes. Heroes, villains, giants, monsters and Gods of ancient past. Yes this is what you’ve been looking for. Here is what you need to strengthen your heart for the struggles ahead. Without tales of heroism to guide you can you be sure of your path? So raise your horn and drink in the glory. May we all meet in Valhalla.

If nothing else sometimes you just want to get away from the nihilism that infests so much of contemporary culture.

Manegarm- Odin owns ye all

Not too sure about the music but these guys sure got the aesthetic down perfectly. Hard to to watch this video and not crack an enormous smile. Also you will get the sudden urge to play Mount and Blade Warband. This is normal, do not be alarmed. Sudden beard growth has also been reported.

Falconer – Grimborg (English Lyrics)

This is a song about a Swedish folk hero. While I’m sure the Swedish lyrics make perfect sense I doubt they have the majesty and the sheer lulzy epicness of the English lyrics. So we’ll be going with that.

-The warriors meet on a mountain one night (taverns are for sissies.)

-Grimborg decides that tonight is the night to get a wife.

-One of Grimborg’s friends mentions offhand that her does know where to find a suitable maiden. However he dismisses the task as too difficult and dangerous to even attempt.

-Grimborg is not impressed. He convinces his friend to guide him to where the maiden can be found.

-His friend agrees as one does not argue with Grimborg.

-When they get to where the maiden is located they discover a solid iron fence topped with the severed heads of previous suitors.

-Grimborg is not impressed although we never hear about his friend again.

-Here a where a barbarian would break the locks. A thief would pick the locks but this is Grimborg he silently breaks the locks.

-The maiden is so impressed by this feat that she agrees to go with Grimborg.

-Grimborg like all Alt-Right heroes turns out to live with his mother.

-‘Maiden’ just so happens to a ‘princess’ and the King is not too pleased by this recent turn of events.

-After a night of “intense Viking romance” Grimborg is surprised and surrounded by the King’s men.

-The resulting battle is so intense that it cannot be expressed in English, Swedish or German. Only a Power metal guitar solo is suitable the mindnumbingly epic struggle that is this confrontation.

-Grimborg then rides out (alone) to challenge the King, or at least get some answers.

-When asked where the King’s men are. Grimborg just shrugs and says I killed them.

-Grimborg then wheels about to attack the King and his court. The Court scatters and cowers in terror.

-The King seeing his supporters cowering like dogs basically surrenders. He agrees to the marriage and makes Grimborg a noble.

-Grimborg rides off with his wife.

-They live happily ever after.


-Happily ever after.

Heidevolk- Winter Woade

Okay I cheating a little here as I’m sure this counts as Old Germanic Pagan Metal rather than proper Viking Metal but I mean it’s almost the same thing. Besides Heidevolk is just too awesome to leave out of any list however short.

Which brings us to this music video where our protagonist finds himself in a what appears to be some sort of fairie realm or afterlife; perhaps combination of Valhalla and Purgatory? He seems to have arrived via explosion. An IED? Did he die in battle but not bravely enough to please the Gods? Yes I am reading way to much into this but we have officially reached the point where a four minute long heavy metal video often has a more complicated and comprehensive plot than your average two hour long Hollywood blockbuster. You could definitely work this into a TV series as not only as the setting mysterious but there seems to be some sort of Robin Hood scenario going on.

Vanir- Thyrfing

I have no idea what happening here either. There’s just something about the combination of bagpipes, drums and the crazy guy screaming in Danish that makes you want to headbutt a polar bear. Definitely one of the better drinking songs I’ve encountered.

Tyr- Blood of Heroes

I mentioned that Viking Metal can be very inspiring and this is a song about a man who finds himself inspired by the tales and legends of ancient heroes and is then driven to perform his own acts of heroism. How he fares is left to the listener’s imagination.


*Update: Crusader Metal sort of exists. There are songs and at least one concept album that fits the bill. There doesn’t seem to be any bands doing the gimmick full time, though so it can’t really be considered a sub-genre until that happens. I’ll might have to do a follow up post on that once I’ve had time to dig around.

Related: An earlier semi-serious post about Viking themes working their way into popular culture and a few musing about the future implications.

Viking Metal: Music To Punch Monsters By

Biting Into the Network


I haven’t spoken much about Pizzagate despite the fact I have been following the scandal. Quite frankly anything dealing with this particular topic is quite painful for me to deal with and I’ve only done surface level research myself. I can only imagine the effect this whole thing is having on the primary researchers.

But the important thing is that arrests ARE happening. A great deal more arrests than I had been aware of. Right now Grand Inquisitor Jeff Sessions and the Fists of Righteous Fury are slowly attacking the International PedoNetwork from the bottom. That’s something and it may lead to further draining of the swamp.

PizzaGate is real. The question is how real? and how deep into the Network can the loyal servants of the God-Emperor strike? Can they bring the entire thing down? Will the blood of the innocent be avenged? Only time will tell.


Follow the money you fucknuggets! FOLLOW THE GODDAMNED MONEY!!!


Biting Into the Network

The Year of The Phoenix

Year of the Phoenix

Well if 2016 was the year of death then 2017 will be the year of Phoenix where that which was long declared dead rises again louder, angrier and more METAL than ever before.


Surely I’m not the only to notice that all the West’s enemies seem to infested with nihilism and act much in the matter of death cults? From the Islamist to the Marxist radical to ardent Environmentalist all these belief systems ultimately lead their most fanatical believers to embrace death and anti-humanism in all its forms. So how must The West respond to its enemies? What can we offer instead of death? Well how about life?

The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. John 10:10

The Cult of Life versus The Cult of Death. Is that metal enough for you? Civilization versus Barbarism. Determination versus Despair. The very world vibrates with anticipation of the struggles to come. Find your place in the Army of Truth and do your part. However small, however humble let no talent go to waste. Western Civilization stands in the balance and only God himself knows what will tip the scales or seemingly petty gambit carry the day.

Why didn’t anybody tell me that these guys existed?

So go forth and with a song in your heart, build and create. There are stories to tell and songs to sing. Great deeds and dreams must not go unremembered. Epics must not go untold. Truth and beauty must be left for the children of the future. Who will stand against this darkness if not for you? I assure you that you will not stand alone.

and if the Acolytes of Death dare to sneer at us feel free to sneer right back. For no matter how dark the night no matter how late the hour there is always something that can be done. There is always that still small voice whispering in the wind. “No all is not lost. Turn and face the Enemy. There is still time for one last Crusade.”

*Big hat tip to The Didact for introducing me to about 2/3rds of the bands I’m currently listening to.

The Year of The Phoenix

Get Your Pizza Cutters Ready

In His endless wisdom and complete lack of mercy God-Emperor Trump, Lion of The West and Savior of Human Civilization has appointed Jeff Sessions to the post of Grand Inquisitor.


What does this mean? It means that times are about to get a whole lot more interesting. Is PizzaGate real? YES!!! but how much of it real? How far does the corruption spread? And what else is there that we haven’t seen yet?

Rumors have been flying around the internet for weeks ever since The Day of the God-Emperor’s Ascension to the Cherry Blossom Throne. No one knows for sure which of the Trumpenreich’s many enemies will face the Grand Inquisitor’s firey wrath first. Will it be the pedos? The communist terrorists of antifa? Spies? Traitors? Those who harbor the Xeno Menace? Only the God-Emperor knows and His Will will be revealed only when the time is right.

So get your popcorn ready, everybody. The sheer amount of wailing and screaming THE ENTIRE LEFT ESTABLISHMENT is doing about Jeff Sessions proves that they are absolutely terrified of him. Which is a good sign that he’s the right man for the job.

Infowars breaking the news

Alt-Media Podcaster John Ploskina goes over recent pedophile arrests. Sure is a lot of them. Hopefully just a taste of what is to come.

Stefan Molyneux’s Untruth about Jeff Sessions

Hmm… The Grand Inquisitor also has a background investigating election fraud. I didn’t know that. Just more bad news for the Clinton camp.

Remember this?


The whole collapse of the Clinton War Machine just gets funnier and funnier in hindsight.


What on Heaven, Earth or Hell was on that laptop?

Get Your Pizza Cutters Ready

In the End There Was No Contest

It’s official everybody favorite Sino-Saudi Puppet Prime Minister has walked away with coveted 2016 Mangina of the Year Award beating out the second place contender Bernie Sanders by an impressive margin.

I mean was anyone really surprised by this?


Fake Justin Trudeau quotes never get old.


People ask if Trudeau is gay why isn’t he openly gay? Well one day he might have to flee to a Muslim country to avoid prosecution for corruption or treason. So it’s important to keep his options open.


This apparently what they call Trudeau in China. I believe Stephen Harper was Great Rutabaga but don’t quote me on that.


Yes for some reason Trudeau is very popular among Pakistani trunk drivers.


Oddly this explains everything.

Anyway there is one good thing about having Trudeau as prime minster. The increasingly SJW converged Liberal Party is going to be stuck with a lame duck leader going into the next election.

In the End There Was No Contest

God Bless Rebel Media

Any answers? Nope. But it seems we keep finding new questions.

Pay especially close attention to Alexandre Bissonnette’s body language in the youtube video that was shown. Everything points to Low Gamma or Omega status and probably the latter*. This is not a man of action, this is a man in pain. This is also a man who was also left leaning (if not a semi-Marxist) and virtue signalling very hard at least a few years ago. Funny how this all fits into the pattern we keep seeing with these mass shooters.

Again no answers just more questions.

For example why would a “Trump supporter” launch what was basically a suicidal attack during the middle of the Trumpzkrieg? The glorious days when the winning never stops? Why was his last social media message on Jan 20th the day of The Ascension to The Cherry Blossom Throne?

The low IQ rhetoric of Alt-Retard is very easy for outsiders to imitate. This makes the swastika panty group very vulnerable to infiltration. After all any idiot can send a picture of an oven to a Jewish journalist and then gloat about it to get more social media followers.

Now does that matter in this case? Maybe? But if more of these false flags are planned it’s probably not a good idea to give the Enemy any more ammunition. LARPing for Hitler might be really funny for a week or two but now that the tides of history has changed it’s time to take off the jackboots and get some shit done.

Fear? panic? despair? After all things look hopeless in Canada don’t they?

No dipshit! We simply have not yet begun to win.

By my estimation Canada is a full election cycle (maybe two) behind the rest of The West. We have another two and half years of Whiteface Obama and then things get interesting.

So it’s time to Stop Whining and Start Winning.

How? Well one the keys to the God-Emperor’s victory was the existence of an alternative media. Canada however has very little to chose from at this point. This is unacceptable and efforts will need to be made to rectify this situation. That’s for the future in the meantime Rebel Media does exist and flawed as they are getting real work done. Support them if you can. There will be other alt-media in the future. Support them when you can find them.

The challenges facing the Restored Canadian Right are enormous but they does not mean they are insurmountable.

Wolfman out

May the God-Emperor watch over you all.


* Honestly his body language reminds me a co-worker I really to sit down and have a beer with. Dude might need a shoulder to cry on.


God Bless Rebel Media