Eyes of the Emperor

Part Three of the Squeaker War

Part One Here: The Mechanics of Creation

Part Two Here: Truth, Lies, More Truth and Insanity

 

An audio reading of this chapter which I’m actually quite happy with. [7 mins]

 

Chapter Three: The Eyes of the Emperor.

The Codteki ELINT ship drifted ballistically in the shadow of the Sol system’s seventh planet, a fairly standard ice giant with an odd axial tilt. While there was no chance of a primitive radar even getting a sniff of the Silent Watcher the natives of this system had built of number of very powerful optical imaging installations and caution demanded that they be respected. Especially now that the Jubi Commonwealth had made open contact with the Terrans and that they would be actively looking for other aliens.

The Codteki Empire would have normally considered Earth and its inhabitants fair game and a ripe target for annexation. As a technologically stalled late fission age civilization they were right in sort of a sweet spot where they had advanced enough industries to be worth conquering yet little in the way of proper defences. Frankly it was a surprise to Captain Karadof that somebody hadn’t already added Sol to an interstellar empire. For one thing their petroleum processing industry was top notch and Earth produced a constant stream of highly entertaining historical war dramas. Rage of the Vikings in particular was proving quite popular among the Watcher’s crew.

However Karadof wasn’t here to keep on eye on the locals so much as he was to watch for and monitor any other sign of alien presence or movement in this system. He had been absolutely baffled by those orders and had initially refused them until the Prince-Admiral had confirmed them in writing and sworn a blood oath to testify to their legitimacy.

The mighty and noble Prince-Admiral hadn’t actually explained why the Watcher was being sent out to the edge of the frontier under the command of an officer two ranks senior than would be customary for a normal assignment but Karadof knew enough of the recent diplomatic tensions to understand why his liege would want a steady reliable captain near the potential conflict zone.

Relations with the Jubi had always been erratic ever since the Misunderstanding War. However Jubi had always been isolationists, avoiding conflict and focusing on whatever aesthetic whim their twisted little alien brains found themselves obsessed with from day to day. So when the Jubi had suddenly reappeared from the ashes of history and began not only claiming territory but actually pressuring the large and very militant Codteki Empire to back away from a certain section of the frontier, the whole civilized galaxy had taken notice.

In the end the Codteki had backed down more out of confusion than anything else. Besides there were plenty of other places to expand to; endless stars with mountains to climb and new races to conquer. The Emperor in his infinite wisdom and cunning had accepted the loss of face and used the incident as leverage to normalize trade and diplomatic relations with their most alien of neighbours.

Then came the secret treaty. In the blink of an eye the Empire and the Commonwealth had gone from enemies plotting each others ultimate destruction to full military allies. No one below flag officer rank or outside the Imperial family knew the exact details or ultimate purpose of that treaty but Karadof had been told in private that the alliance was very very conditional on the Jubi keeping their word on some specific item.

Which probably explained the Watcher’s mission in this system. The Jubi were up to something and no warrior-scholar who had studied the Misunderstanding War could fail to be alarmed at that. Karadof actually didn’t need to know what information he was supposed to confirm or deny he just needed to make sure his ship captured the raw data and survived long enough to deliver it.

A quiet buzzer on the bridge shook Karadof from his contemplations.

“Ship contact, range twenty light-seconds.” Lieutenant Flurkik the ship’s tactical officer announced. “Contact is very faint but it’s definitely there. Destroyer size at most.”

Karadof jumped from his command chair to moved to view the main tactical display. A rather bad habit of his since his own displays would be carrying the exact same information but instincts were instincts and he’d always been a hands on leader. “Can we tell anything at this range? That’s a ship that should not be there.”

“Non-standard engines and its active stealth systems seem to be cutting in and out.” The lieutenant reported. “Almost like there was a malfunction?”

“Positive class identification! Shadowfish class special operations frigate.”

A Jubi ship? Well that wasn’t really a surprise but even picking up an elusive prey like a Shadowfish at such a long range was noteworthy. They wanted us to see them. Jubi hide everything by instinct. This had to be a deliberate decision.

“Incoming burst transmission. Commonwealth protocol. Looks like an older code.”

“One they know we can decrypt,” Karadof asserted. Jubi never did anything in a straightforward manner. Aliens were by definition alien but Jubi could be uniquely baffling and irrational.

“Decrypting now… Looks like a straight text file. Language is Old Codteki, message repeats in High Codteki and… unknown third language?” The comm officer reported.

“Put the message up in High Codteki,” The captain ordered.

Maintain mission profile.

More important than you know.

Trust the plan.

Save the humans.

We will overcome.

“What plan?” Flurkik asked completely baffled by the message. He wasn’t the only one.

“Jubi always have a plan. I just wish they would tell the rest of us what it is.” The captain roared loud enough to cause his crew to bristle in alarm.

“Sir do we send a response?” The comm officer asked.

“No we maintain comm silence.” The captain ordered. “And we trust our ‘allies.’ Whatever they’re doing in this system it seems to be important to them.”

“If we’re already conceding this system to the Commonwealth then why are we here?” Flurkik asked momentarily forgetting his place.

“To be the Emperor’s Eyes,” Karadof said with a flourish. “and because the Jubi can’t really put on a show without an audience.”

“But save the humans?”

“Well you have to admit that they make great television shows.” Karadof answered. “I guess that’s a reason. Either way it’s none of our business.”

Truth, Lies, More Truth and Insanity

Part Two of the Squeaker War

Part One Here The Mechanics of Creation

 

The usual bunch of protesters were gathered outside the Whitehouse. Although their signs and chants had changed from “Punch all Nazis!” and “Mothers against madmen.” to “Spacerats go home!” “Earth for Earthlings” And the General’s personal favourite “Hell no! Xenos go!” Considering that the Jubi contact team had left the star system several days ago just added to the absurd humor of the situation.

The Jubi’s naive insistence on publicly declaring their arrival and intentions had not gone over too well with the general public. Washington in particular had gone into what amounted to one enormous brain spasm; which Lewis had to admit made him like the strange little aliens even more.

He was just taking an evening stroll and trying to get the taste of Pentagon coffee out of his mouth when his smartphone rang.

Lewis grabbed the phone he normally used for his day to day business. Only to realize that it was his other more private phone that was ringing. The general muttered to himself but with the small chance that the President or one of the Joint Chiefs was calling he really did have to take this call.

“Lewis here, who’s calling?”

“General Lewis, this is Jake Osborne with Cyberpatriot News. Is there any chance you’d be willing to do an interview about our new surprisingly fuzzy alien overlords?”

“No Jake and fuck you for asking,” The general answered instinctively while he wondered how the infamous conspiracy nut radio host had gotten this number.

“What do you say about the rumors that the Jubi are just here to steal our water?” Osborne asked, clearly not getting the hint.

“Water is one of the most common chemicals in the universe, Jake,” Lewis sputtered stunned by the sheer stupidity of the question. “If your listeners are worried about aliens coming to Earth and stealing our water I’d suggest that you double check the ingredient list on those brainpower pills you keep selling.”

“So they’re not after our natural resources,” Osborne stated.

“Earth has no unique resources…” Lewis replied.

“Except us and our children,” Osborne shot back hysterically. “The aliens want our children!”

“You’re jumping to conclusions, Jake.” Lewis growled.

“So human resources or…”

“Strategic geographic location like a canal or a strait.” Lewis answered. “But that’s pure speculation. The Jubi are offering us very good terms to join their proposed alliance.”

“Alliance against who?” Osborne asked. It was a logical question. Crazy or not Jake Osborne hadn’t gotten where he had without being a very smart man.

“They haven’t told us,” Lewis conceded.

“So they want something on or near Earth?” Osborne said following the logic. Again for all his faults Osborne was a very smart man.

“They seemed very interested in the gas giants and their orbital resonances…” Lewis answered puzzling over the question himself.

Ah, yes Saturn! The source of the Reptilian transmissions.” Osborne said as if the idea has just snapped into his mind, solving a great mystery.

“There are no goddamned Reptilians!” Lewis bellowed loud enough to cause a jogger to stop, stare and decide to start jogging in the other direction. This was why he hated Osborne and his ilk. One moment you were having an intelligent conversation and the next people started ranting about bankers and dentists committing child sacrifice and collecting dark energy to power their crystal pyramids.

“What if there were Reptilians?” Osborne said as if this was great revelation.

“Then we’d better damn well take the Jubi’s offer Jake,” Lewis snarled. “Because if Earth really is controlled by trans-dimensional shapeshifting aliens who eat children’s souls we’re gonna need all the help we can get to kick those scaly bastards the fuck off our planet!”

“Thanks for your time General and as one patriot to another God bless you.” The radio host said with at least a sliver of sincerity. Then he ended the call.

Lewis stood motionless for a moment and then stared aimlessly at his phone. Then he realized that he had just let that snake oil salesman Osborne trick him into giving an interview… and one with several very juicy mimetic soundbites perfect for tonight’s feature broadcast.

Patrick Lewis had long treated profanity as an artform. For next several minutes he gave the pigeons and bureaucrats of Washington DC. a virtuoso performance that only a true master of the art could unleash.

 

Part Three Here Eyes of the Emperor

The Mechanics of Creation

Part One of the Squeaker War

 

The jubi typed furiously into the tiny keyboard and waited for the text to speech software to translate. If not for the seriousness of the conversation the sight of the tiny baby sloth looking alien would have been quite adorable.

“The entity you humans refer to as God is capable of

directly tapping into zero point energy,

converting that energy into matter at no least than 99.98% efficiency.

then shaping said matter into whatever complex form He chooses to.

This whole process takes nanoseconds.”

General Lewis looked very nervously at Commander Hardin, “Hmm probably shouldn’t have skipped church last Sunday, then.”

The jubi replied with a little squeak-laugh before typing another sentence.

“and understand gentlemen that this is God’s minimum observed capability.”

Commander Hardin felt the sudden urge for a second glass of whiskey, “So you saying that not only does God exist but that you race has communicated with Him?”

“We try to maintain diplomatic relations with the various Cosmic powers.” came the reply. “Thankfully most such powers consider us beneath their notice.”

The Spaceforce general thought for a minute. “So if God exists, what about Satan?”

The alien jerked slightly and actually hesitated before answering. That alone was unusual. Jubi always answered questions quickly and always seemed to be two or three steps ahead of any human who was talking to them.

“Sadly I’m not familiar enough with human theology to directly answer that question. However I can think of at least three alien races that might match your description of fallen angels.”

The General gave a booming laugh in response. “And you want our help against these space demons?”

The alien honked a negative and then began typing.

“No. Distant enemies. Future threat. Humans not ready. Need bigger alliance anyway. Very big alliance.”

“Like an alliance with God?” Commander Hardin gasped. “How did you guys find us anyway?”

The tiny alien just started laughing.

Lewis and Hardin just stared at each other in alarm. What were they going to tell the president?

 

Baby sloths are super adorable. Plus was getting so tired of grey humanoid aliens.

Part Two Here: Truth, Lies, More Truth and Insanity

Breylandverse Ships: The Quick Version

Just a quick bit of worldbuilding. Doing this partially as a response to a recent Spacedock video (and Bradford Walker’s post on it) but also as a way to get my ideas actually written down and organized better.

Some of you might notice that ships sizes are very close to those in David Weber’s Honor Harrington Series. That wasn’t completely intentional but it is more or less how I’m thinking these days.

Third Generation Post-Newtonian Warship Classes

Conventional Classes as of 4010.

DN Dreadnaughts: Massing around 5 or 6 million tons dreadnaughts are the queens of battle and the main measure that determines a star nations power and prestige; even if light cruiser and destroyers do most of the actual fighting. Dreadnaughts however are quite expensive and require enormous repair yards in order to keep them maintained. Thus the constant temptation to build smaller battleships despite proper dreadnaughts being generally more efficient ton per ton. Major fleet battles are however quite rare so capital ships mostly sit around in orbit and look menacing.

BB Battleships: Averaging about 3.5 to 4M tons Battleships are defined as the minimum ship that can effectively stand in the ‘wall of battle’ as part of a major fleet engagement. Armed with long range missiles and heavy energy batteries and paired with strong enough shields and armor to resist such weapons; battleships command respect and project power. Even an obsolete battleship can still be a dangerous opponent as even the oldest ship can still to refitted to fire state of the art missiles.

BC Battlecruisers: Averaging around 2M tons and with newer ships approaching two and half million tons the emergence of the true capital missile carrying battlecruiser is the defining event of third generation post-Newtonian warships. Battlecruisers are used primarily for deep raiding and heavy strikes against targets of opportunity. This was done to absolutely devastating effect against Breylands scattered colonies and border worlds during what later be called The Brafen Raids. The VBN which had previously rejected building battlecruisers has since changed their mind and adopted a more aggressive forward deployment doctrine.

CA Heavy Cruisers: Averaging around 400k tons heavy cruisers are mostly used defensively as picket ships and escorts. Few pirate bands or rogue states can wield ships of this size so a lone CA is generally going to have a firepower advantage against such non-state enemies.

CL Light Cruisers: More or less standardised at around 100k tons light cruisers are the multirole workhorses of virtually all space navies. Able to act as scouts, raiders, escorts and system defence pickets no fleet ever truly has enough light cruisers. Light cruiser are usually captained by Lt. Commanders.

The Viceroyal Breylandic Navy has learned through hard fought experience to never place a woman in command of a light cruiser.*

DD Destroyers: The smallest truly useful warships destroyers have standardised at the 55k ton mark, partially in due to what is known as the Curtis Mass Limit. By being under the Curtis Limit destroyers do not create an ‘exit signature’ upon exiting jump space and can then go immediately into full stealth, making them even better raiders than light cruisers. Destroyers are also fast and agile enough to flee from an engagement that is going poorly. This comes mostly at the cost of having limited ability to carry consumables and supplies, greatly limiting operational range and deployment time. Destroyers are usually captained by fairly senior Lieutenants or recently promoted Lt. Commanders.

FF Frigates: The smallest possible jump capable warship frigates tend average 40k tons. While most navies do not even bother building ships of this size the Viceroyal Breyland continues to use frigates in large numbers as the VBN is badly overextended has to cover and patrol a large number of sparsely populated systems. The VBN also prefer to use frigates for messenger duty instead of building smaller and cheaper dispatch boats.

FAC Fast Attack Craft: FACs are small gunboats typically around 30k tons that lack warp drives and are used for planetary defence and customs patrols. FACs are an inexpensive way to put a lot of firepower in space very quickly but they have numerous drawbacks. While VBN doctrine considers FACs vital to curbing smuggling and maintaining government control of the orbitals, these ships inherent lack of hyperjump capability means that unlike destroyers FACs are unable to retreat from a superior force. They also require orbital stations to operate from and many Breylandic colonies are lacking in orbital infrastructure. Plus you have to actually ship to the system in question using fairly large freighters.

AMC Armed Merchant Cruisers: Due to the increasing focus on missile weapons armed merchant ships are increasingly proving to be a threat that needs to be respected. However once a true warship gets inside effective energy weapon range AMCs quickly become little more than targets as they lack agility and tend to have defensive EW systems. Large converted merchant ships are however quite useful utility ships, often used as troop transports or supply ships. The VBN has also been known to arm such ships with small numbers of capital ship missiles giving them a long range punch that most opponents don\t really expect. AMCs also can carry a lot of munitions and consumables allowing them to stay on station for extended periods of time.

Intermediate and Emerging Classes.

BBL Light Battleships: Generally 3-3.25M tons. While there are a lot of older obsolete ships generally referred to as light battleships. The modern light battleship was developed once the lessons of the Brafen Raids had sunk in and is a system defense ship specifically designed to defeat a battlecruiser in a one on one duel. These ships are still at a fairly big disadvantage in a major fleet engagement if they are forced into joining the wall of battle but allow for a larger number of systems to be covered.

CB Super Cruiser: The enormous and steadily growing gap between heavy cruisers and new built battlecruisers is increasingly leading to naval theorists to speculate about an intermediate ship between the two classes. These ‘super‘ cruisers would be about 800k tons and would likely be used offensively against weaker targets too unimportant to commit capital ships against. No major navy currently has ships of this class in service but the concept is widely discussed and quite trendy among armchair admirals.

CM Medium Cruiser: As a result of a budget crisis Breyland built a number of 200k ton Arbalest-class cruisers and the resulting ships turned out to be surprisingly useful as lone patrol ships even if they did not fit into existing fleet doctrine. Additional medium cruiser designs are being considered and the VBN may rethink its entire cruiser construction priorities in the near future.

DDH Heavy Destroyer: Several smaller navies are beginning to question the conventional wisdom about the usefulness of building ships under the Curtis Mass Limit, as the lack of a hyperspace exit signature is not that big of an operational advantage. The result of this is building heavy destroyers in the 65-70k tons range.

*Yes that’s a direct On Basilisk Station reference.

 

Related:

Brad’s post in question.

https://bradfordcwalker.blogspot.com/2018/08/my-life-in-fandom-and-writing-problem.html

Chapter One of Decisive Action (which will be need to rewritten.)

Chapter One: An Unpleasant Surprise

Aurora 4x: The Kriegmarshall’s Prayer

This one took about seven takes since I couldn’t keep myself from laughing. [1 min]

 

Our Father who art in Heaven.

Vengeful be thy hand.

Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done in Space is it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily reloads

And forgive our trespasses

as we forgive those who are not flithy xeno scum

lead us not into temptation

but deliver us from thots.

Mankind triumphant in the end

All Glory to Your Name

forever and ever

Amen.

The Crusader States of Terra

I’ve been planning a Let’s play of Aurora 4x for years now. So naturally I needed to throw together a trailer. So here it is. It turned out to be a fairly decent piece of writing and a challenge to someone who’s never done any sort of video recording or editing.

It’s not great but it’s a first step.

 

The future looked bright.

We thought nothing could stop us.

We were wrong.

 

The Year was 2021

The year everything changed.

Humanity’s Golden Age was stolen from us.

Crushed stillborn in the womb.

The Face-Eating Giant Space Spiders had come. They were not our friends.

They attacked without warning. Without mercy.

Their technology was beyond comprehension.

We stood no chance against them.

Great swaths of humanity were mowed down.

Countless cities reduced to rubble.

Nations shattered beyond repair.

and then They moved on, perhaps to seek other prey.

The wormhole closed behind them.

By the slimmest of margins humanity had lived to see another day.

 

But humanity would be forever changed.

A great turning had began.

The Unification War of 2023-4 was shift and savage but ultimately necessary

Humanity would stand together against a cold cruel universe.

 

The year is now 2025. A new Government has formed under Emperor Donald II.

Humanity is one. At least for the moment. The Old Nations are all but destroyed.

Only the memories remain.

But those memories will be honored.

Billions have died.

Billions must still be avenged.

And for this we turn to our God and our Emperor.

 

With a single will Humanity shall face the terrors of the void.

And united we shall laugh in the face of death.

For we know that death is coming.

Let us greet it with a smile.

Great and terrible are our Enemies.

Vast is the cold dark expanse of the Void.

We have only a few Orion-drive ships and our technology seems pitiful in the face of the recent onslaught.

The odds are not in our favor.

Yet we must go.

 

For Humans are nothing if not determined.

We have crossed oceans in ships made of sticks and twine.

We went to the moon on a giant aluminum tube of liquid explosives and a prayer.

This is but one more challenge to overcome.

Long have we practised the brutal arts of war against our follow man.

But now we stand united as brothers and we shall put what we learnt to a righteous cause.

We shall rise from the ashes of our Homeworld.

We shall seize that which is rightfully ours.

We shall spread the Glory of the Infinite God across the Endless Sky.

And We shall strike down our foes with a righteous fury.

For who are we?

 

We are the Killer Monkeys From Planet Earth.

We are the Sons of Adam

We are the Enemies Most Relentless

We are the Emperor’s Chosen

and we shall prevail!

There can be no peace between Man and Spider.

Be we do not fear.

For if God be with us, then what can stand against us?

 

We are the Crusader States of Terra.

And we are going to Deus Vult the fuck out of everything!

 

Related:

The Kriegmarshall’s Prayer.

Aurora 4x: The Kriegmarshall’s Prayer

Nerdlife 13: Never Tell Me the Odds

Sorry about the delay on this one but I got sucked into a wormhole and spent most of the last couple evening messing around with MegaMek and trying (er… failing) to get the hang of it. That campaign editor is just taunting me at this point. Sadly I’m not that familiar with the Battletech Tabletop rules.

Anyway let’s begin.

How to make Warhammer Adventures NOT suck [11 mins]

Arch Warhammer outlines his modest proposal for how to go about writing a children’s story in the Warhammer 40k universe while still staying faithful to established lore.

 

Cody Fernandez on the Punisher, antiheroes and how the character effected him as teenager.

https://www.thecomiccorner.co.uk/blog/the-punisher-and-dehumanization

An excellent take on vigilantes and the contrast between heroes who wear white hat and those who feel they must wear the grey hat.

 

 

Edible six pack holders? This is actually a good idea.

https://www.wptv.com/news/region-s-palm-beach-county/delray-beach/delray-beachs-saltwater-brewery-creates-edible-six-pack-holder-that-wont-hurt-marine-animals

 

How the Crusades begin in Spain [22 mins]

The video is a little dry but this might be interesting to anyone who plays Crusader Kings or is interested in medieval history. Of note is how Pope Urban II seemed to consider the Reconquista of Spain to be equal in importance to retaking the Holy Land. Also a castle actually named “Deus Vult.”

 

Tim Simon on how Byzantium and Gondor from LotR are connected.

https://bondwine.com/2010/03/13/gondor-byzantium-and-feudalism/

and yes this was Tolkien’s intention.

 

Strangely this would make for some pretty exciting comics. The character interaction between Knighty Knight and Detective Horse would no doubt be memorable.

 

J. D. Cohen Declares the Short Story dead and begins a murder investigation.

https://wastelandandsky.blogspot.com/2018/06/the-assisted-suicide-of-short-stories.html

One thing I’m going to add it that it has proven to quite difficult to start writing short stories when you’ve grown up not reading them.

 

Mecha Warriors [song]

I just love the little stories this guy comes up with for his songs.

 

A quick note on worldbuilding.

https://gscotthuggins.com/2018/05/31/a-few-thoughts-on-worldbuilding/

Food, art and music. Food is the easiest but only becomes a concern when the characters don’t have a steady reliable supply of it. Or if they are moving between multiple cultures. Art and music are best left for the slower parts of the story and again would only be noticed if the character is operating outside his usual culture.

 

A typical day on any internet gaming forum.

 

Anthony M. On the nature of parody and what makes a good one.

http://www.superversivesf.com/2018/05/31/what-makes-a-great-parody/

The old maxim is that the best parodies are done out of a love for the source material. Which is why so much of the modern subversive comedy of recent years falls flat.

 

Where’s my tactical buzzbombs?

 

The Rocket Robin Hood opening and theme song.

 

This was a horrible cartoon but damn if that theme song didn’t inspire young boys. Also you do have to respect the sheer pulpiness of the premise.

 

Well okay when you look at it this way…

 

Amanda S, Green critiques the internal economics of Star Trek.

https://accordingtohoyt.com/2018/05/31/trekonomics-3-wheres-the-money-by-amanda-s-green/

 

Military History Visualized on German Flak Towers in WWII [8 mins]

So basically a form of Nazi castle. These flak towers might also work transferred over to a sci-fi setting as spaceport cities would need to be defended against pirates and Marine raiders.

 

I case you we’re wondering just how ridiculous Disney Star Wars is.

 

Cameron Mount goes over the history of The Green Hornet and what made the character popular.

https://broadswordsandblasters.com/2018/05/28/pulp-appeal-the-green-hornet/

Quick note if you dig around on Youtube it is possible to find the old movie serials. Sometimes even edited together into a single movie.

 

1933 US Army Cavalry Training Film [10 mins]

A very interesting look at how interwar cavalry units operated. The horse handling procedures are also a great deal more involved than I would have envisioned. Each platoon also has two light machine guns organized into a weapons squad that breaks apart into fireteams to support the rifle platoons. This is logically the only way to do things but actually seeing how it was done is strangely satisfying.

 

An article covering the flaws in more contemporary vampire stories, while giving a few suggestions.

https://urban-fantasy.com/2018/05/30/vampires-suck/

“The most common complaint I hear about Twilight (other than Kristen Stewart’s acting) is the vampire as a romantic figure. I wholeheartedly agree; casting a vampire character as a romantic figure is akin to putting a mosquito on the cover of People magazine.“

 

 

Jim Fear on how Realism destroys Sci-fi, Fantasy and Horror Stories.

https://jimfear138.blogspot.com/2018/06/against-realism.html

These genres are fundamentally based on wonder and fantastic elements. Even Low Fantasy which uses supernatural elements very sparingly needs to sell those elements when they are encountered. Besides if I wanted reality I’d look out the window.

 

 

Battletech Lore: Origin of the Battlemech [14 mins]

Strangely topically at the moment. As there does seem to be a BattleTech revival of sorts in the works.

 

A neat piece of history.

 

 

 

 

 

J. D. Cohen Declares the Short Story dead and begins a murder investigation.

https://wastelandandsky.blogspot.com/2018/06/the-assisted-suicide-of-short-stories.html

One thing I’m going to add it that it has proven to quite difficult to start writing short stories when you’ve grown up not reading them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jon Mollison on how the new wave of Independent Crowd-funded comics are rekindling his love for the medium.

http://jonmollison.com/2018/06/03/when-did-i-become-a-comic-book-fan/

“Seriously – those of us following a policy of, “Don’t Give Money To People Who Hate You” are being boxed into ever tighter corners. Can’t watch TV. Can’t go to the movies. Can’t even enjoy vast swathes of tabletop gaming.”

— Wolfman out—

The womp rats died for nothing,

Where the Krunkalo Roam

I hate leaving the blog quiet like this so here’s another story fragment. Partially inspired by a random gun picture someone posted on Twitter.

Looks like something you hunt werewolves with.

 

Ky looked nervously at his friend. “Seiko, we gotta lift soon. Last chance to take a hand blaster or something with you.”

Seiko ears flickered slightly. “Mission parameters.” He said coldly. “No high tech or anything that could draw attention to me.”

“Yeah., yeah John Wayne not Bruce Wayne but dude?” Ky protested.

“Do I tell you how to fix a hyperdrive?” Seiko said harshly. “Don’t tell me how to ranger.”

Ky didn’t have an answer for that. He’d made his opinion on this mission quite clear the night before and he hadn’t been the only one completely baffled by Seiko’s choice of weapon.

This was first and foremost a reconnaissance mission. Although Seiko had been given authority to attempt a solo rescue if he saw an opening his first objective was to locate the hostage. This meant he was going to have to think more like a spy, than a soldier.

He’d settled on the revolver carbine mostly because it was the sort of weapon a down on his luck dinosaur-riding desperado would be carrying. However there were a number of other advantages.

First and foremost the primitive firearm wouldn’t stand out as an obvious military weapon. Some computerized security systems might not even recognize a ‘wheel gun’ as a firearm. Seiko had only the vaguest idea what sort of scanners or surveillance aircraft he might be facing and not looking important enough to shoot had proved to be a useful strategy in the past.

The second point was that a revolver type weapon would not jam even in a full strength “gremlin field.” Even in the event of misfire all Seiko would have to do was keep pulling the trigger. Not a huge deal but noone who had ever survived a gremlin field ambush forgot the experience.

The final point was that .357 magnum was very popular among the Fenririan mercenaries known to be operating on this world. So if things truly went to shit Seiko would at least have chance to resupply from captured ammo, before he went off in a blaze of glory.

Well if he was going to dress up like a space cowboy, he might as well act the part.

Nerdlife Twelve: Ride The Chaos

Sort of rushing this one but I’m in the mood and there’s enough happening in geek circles to keep the energy levels up. Since this should be going out on Memorial day I’ll start with Vietnam War clip.

‘Tunnel rats’ Vietnam War (1967) army report [3 mins]

Balls; huge brass ones. The only thing more dangerous than urban warfare is fighting underground. Yet there are always those who will rise to the occasion.

 

 

An interview on the topic of females warriors on the main Baen website.

http://www.baen.com/femalewarrior

I know that this is a very sore topic; especially with the nonsense going on with Battlefield V right now. Still a decent read. Women in a combat role is a sign of a broken society or of absolute military desperation. Truth is both scenarios make for pretty dramatic and interesting storytelling.

 

Zaklog reads The One Black Stain by Robert E Howard [5 mins]

Solomon Kane is always a win.

 

I wonder how the Vinland story would work redone in science fiction setting?

 

Catholic Horror Vampire Detective author Declan Finn rips into West Coast Avengers and highlights the many points of failure.

http://www.declanfinn.com/2018/05/marvel-full-of-fail.html

 

Geeky Bugle talks about the 2011 Thundercats reboot. [13 mins]

He makes the pitch that the 2011 series was clearly written by someone who had played DnD and in effect the show is an old school tabletop campaign. This is an excellent review especially in the wake of the incoming ‘Tumblrcats Meow’ knockoff being sent out to soy down your children and crush their dreams and spirits.

 

Quick! Explain ComicsGate in one picture!

 

And speaking of soy? Well at least we have a treatment for that.

Thundercats meets metal.

His Ghostbusters theme cover is also excellent

 

An older article from Trever Bierschbach from Frags and Beer discussing one of the great flaws in SJW writing. If special snowflakes characters can never have anything bad happen to them there is no way for an audience to get invested or for any real tension to be built up.

http://fragsandbeer.com/creating-untouchable-characters-will-kill-diversity/

 

Yes look it’s more Leo. I don’t really need a reason.

Micheal Jackson songs really do translate very well into metals covers.

 

And yes somebody is trying to send me a hint.

 

“Mysterious Wandering Monk” and sci-fi author Brian Niemeier righteously gloats about the failure of Solo.

http://www.brianniemeier.com/2018/05/a-day-long-remembered.html

Yes he called it.

 

 

A random name generator that covers a very wide selection of things, places, settings and most importantly real world cultures. This helps a lot when you’re trying to come up with names for Space Boer mercenaries. Very useful website.

https://www.fantasynamegenerators.com/

 

Spike Valentine of Bleeding Fool gives an in depth review of Solo

http://www.bleedingfool.com/sjw/spike-reviews-solo-a-star-wars-story-spoilers/

“Seriously, if you edit out the Han Solo character from this flick, it would be a pretty solid movie! You know how painful that is to say about one of your favorite characters of all time, certainly your favorite Star Wars character, regarding his own fricking film!?”

He also covers some of the rumours going around how Solo might have orignaially been an anti-SJW movie under the original directors (who were fired suddenly with a lot a drama.)

This would also explain why Disney Shills (including actual studio personnel) reacted so strongly to Ethan Van Sciver’s Soylo: A Soy Wars Soyry campaign.

 

Possible happenings in the OSR circles… or probably just the usual bugmen spazzing out over imaginary Trump-Hitler death robots.

https://therpgpundit.blogspot.com/2018/05/is-there-alt-right-influence-on-osr-or.html

 

—Wolfman Out—

Still rocking in the memory of the Free World.

Nerdlife 11: Fine Call It A Comeback

Yes I’m doing these things again. Sanity is overrated anyway.

Okay let’s start with the obvious news. The first issue of Alt*Hero has been released on Amazon Kindle and physical dead tree copies are promised for two weeks from now. Distribution will be through Ingram and any store with an Ingram account should be able to order it.

Calarts ruins everything.

 

I still think the real fun starts when Chuck Dixon’s Avalon hits the stands (which is a good reason for your local comic store to set up an Ingram account) as that series is going to have stronger normie appeal than the AltHero series itself but the important thing is that the readers are happy and the SJWs are continuing to REEEEE and call everyone Nazis.

I’ll try to get Issue #1 read by this weekend.

 

Toy gun commercials for the 50’s and 60’s. [6 Mins]

A fun vision of a lost era. Those tommy guns looked awesome. Of course this was an age there would have been a lot of WWII veterans around to teach the boys about the real deal.

You WILL get the Johnny Eagle theme song stuck in your head. (A small price to pay.)

 

And all of a sudden I want some nachos.

 

SF author Michael Z. Willamson gives a long detailed loving rant against the argument that mere rifles are of no use against a tyrannical government.

http://www.michaelzwilliamson.com/blog/index.php?itemid=450

 

Hell yes!

 

A decent read about mining and gathering natural resources form space.

http://www.explainingthefuture.com/resources_from_space.html

 

 

Classroom Physics Experiments [3:30 mins]

The sand patterns are neat but stick around for the artificial ice trick at the end.

 

 

Quick article on playing centaurs and Minotaur in DnD (5^th edition?)

http://comicbook.com/gaming/2018/05/14/dungeons-and-dragons-unearthed-arcana-centaur-minotaur/

and yes I can already hear the OSR guys laughing.

 

This is why it’s important to learn click discipline.

 

Metal Cover of The Muppet Show Theme [3:12]

Nothing to say here as you’ve probably already clicked on the video.

 

 

We’ve all been there. Be careful which mushrooms you eat on a camping trip, kids.

 

A Technical Analysis of the Gunstar from The Last Starfighter [5 mins]

A great fan piece breaking down what we know about this space fighter.

Also the 1984 movie is well worth hunting down if you haven’t seen it,

 

 

Jeffro breaks down just what the Cultural Marxists have done to modern SFF

https://jeffro.wordpress.com/2018/03/30/why-contemporary-science-fiction-and-fantasy-is-godawful/

Benjamin Cheah ponders the meaning of heroism and goes over some of the more flawed concepts.

http://www.pulprev.com/2018/04/what-makes-hero.html

The section on flawed heroes is definitely worth highlighting. While a protagonist without vices or weaknesses can often be boring in the end we value heroes for their virtues and heroism.

 

The Start of H.P.’s series on Tolkien.

https://everydayshouldbetuesday.wordpress.com/2018/05/03/tolkien-101/

 

 

A Sober and Sane Explanation of this whole Calarts Thing.

https://cirsova.wordpress.com/2018/05/21/the-calarts-thing/

 

—Wolfman Out—

Wolfperson Media reserves the right to ‘awoo’ at any time.