Aurora 4x: The Kriegmarshall’s Prayer

This one took about seven takes since I couldn’t keep myself from laughing. [1 min]


Our Father who art in Heaven.

Vengeful be thy hand.

Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done in Space is it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily reloads

And forgive our trespasses

as we forgive those who are not flithy xeno scum

lead us not into temptation

but deliver us from thots.

Mankind triumphant in the end

All Glory to Your Name

forever and ever


Aurora 4x: The Kriegmarshall’s Prayer

The Crusader States of Terra

I’ve been planning a Let’s play of Aurora 4x for years now. So naturally I needed to throw together a trailer. So here it is. It turned out to be a fairly decent piece of writing and a challenge to someone who’s never done any sort of video recording or editing.

It’s not great but it’s a first step.


The future looked bright.

We thought nothing could stop us.

We were wrong.


The Year was 2021

The year everything changed.

Humanity’s Golden Age was stolen from us.

Crushed stillborn in the womb.

The Face-Eating Giant Space Spiders had come. They were not our friends.

They attacked without warning. Without mercy.

Their technology was beyond comprehension.

We stood no chance against them.

Great swaths of humanity were mowed down.

Countless cities reduced to rubble.

Nations shattered beyond repair.

and then They moved on, perhaps to seek other prey.

The wormhole closed behind them.

By the slimmest of margins humanity had lived to see another day.


But humanity would be forever changed.

A great turning had began.

The Unification War of 2023-4 was shift and savage but ultimately necessary

Humanity would stand together against a cold cruel universe.


The year is now 2025. A new Government has formed under Emperor Donald II.

Humanity is one. At least for the moment. The Old Nations are all but destroyed.

Only the memories remain.

But those memories will be honored.

Billions have died.

Billions must still be avenged.

And for this we turn to our God and our Emperor.


With a single will Humanity shall face the terrors of the void.

And united we shall laugh in the face of death.

For we know that death is coming.

Let us greet it with a smile.

Great and terrible are our Enemies.

Vast is the cold dark expanse of the Void.

We have only a few Orion-drive ships and our technology seems pitiful in the face of the recent onslaught.

The odds are not in our favor.

Yet we must go.


For Humans are nothing if not determined.

We have crossed oceans in ships made of sticks and twine.

We went to the moon on a giant aluminum tube of liquid explosives and a prayer.

This is but one more challenge to overcome.

Long have we practised the brutal arts of war against our follow man.

But now we stand united as brothers and we shall put what we learnt to a righteous cause.

We shall rise from the ashes of our Homeworld.

We shall seize that which is rightfully ours.

We shall spread the Glory of the Infinite God across the Endless Sky.

And We shall strike down our foes with a righteous fury.

For who are we?


We are the Killer Monkeys From Planet Earth.

We are the Sons of Adam

We are the Enemies Most Relentless

We are the Emperor’s Chosen

and we shall prevail!

There can be no peace between Man and Spider.

Be we do not fear.

For if God be with us, then what can stand against us?


We are the Crusader States of Terra.

And we are going to Deus Vult the fuck out of everything!



The Kriegmarshall’s Prayer.

Aurora 4x: The Kriegmarshall’s Prayer

The Crusader States of Terra

Nerdlife 13: Never Tell Me the Odds

Sorry about the delay on this one but I got sucked into a wormhole and spent most of the last couple evening messing around with MegaMek and trying (er… failing) to get the hang of it. That campaign editor is just taunting me at this point. Sadly I’m not that familiar with the Battletech Tabletop rules.

Anyway let’s begin.

How to make Warhammer Adventures NOT suck [11 mins]

Arch Warhammer outlines his modest proposal for hoe to go about writing a children’s story in the Warhammer 40k universe while still staying faithful to established lore.


Cody Fernandez on the Punisher, antiheroes and how the character effected him as teenager.

An excellent take on vigilantes and the contrast between heroes who wear white hat and those who feel they must wear the grey hat.




Edible six pack holders? This is actually a good idea.


How the Crusades begin in Spain [22 mins]

The video is a little dry but this might be interesting to anyone who plays Crusader Kings or is interested in medieval history. Of note is how Pope Urban II seemed to consider the Reconquista of Spain to be equal in importance to retaking the Holy Land. Also a castle actually named “Deus Vult.”


Tim Simon on how Byzantium and Gondor from LotR are connected.

and yes this was Tolkien’s intention.



Strangely this would make for some pretty exciting comics. The character interaction between Knighty Knight and Detective Horse would no doubt by memorable.


J. D. Cohen Declares the Short Story dead and begins a murder investigation.

One thing I’m going to add it that it has proven to quite difficult to start writing short stories when you’ve grown up not reading them.


Mecha Warriors [song]

I just love the little stories this guy comes up with for his songs.


A quick note on worldbuilding.

Food, art and music. Food is the easiest but only becomes a concern when the characters don’t have a steady reliable supply of it. Or if they are moving between multiple cultures. Art and music are best left for the slower parts of the story and again would only be noticed if the character is operating outside his usual culture.



A typical day on any internet gaming forum.


Anthony M. On the nature of parody and what makes a good one.

The old maxim is that the best parodies are done out of a love for the source material. Which is why so much of the modern subversive comedy of recent years falls flat.



Where’s my tactical buzzbombs?


The Rocket Robin Hood opening and theme song.


This was a horrible cartoon but damn if that theme song didn’t inspire young boys. Also you do have to respect the sheer pulpiness of the premise.



Well okay when you look at it this way…


Amanda S, Green critiques the internal economics of Star Trek.


Military History Visualized on German Flak Towers in WWII [8 mins]

So basically a form of Nazi castle. These flak towers might also work transferred over to a sci-fi setting as spaceport cities would need to be defended against pirates and Marine raiders.



I case you we’re wondering just how ridiculous Disney Star Wars is.


Cameron Mount goes over the history of The Green Hornet and what made the character popular.

Quick note if you dig around on Youtube it is possible to find the old movie serials. Sometimes even edited together into a single movie.


1933 US Army Cavalry Training Film [10 mins]

A very interesting look at how interwar cavalry units operated. The horse handling procedures are also a great deal more involved than I would have envisioned. Each platoon also has two light machine guns organized into a weapons squad that breaks apart into fireteams to support the rifle platoons. This is logically the only way to do things but actually seeing how it was done is strangely satisfying.


An article covering the flaws in more contemporary vampire stories, while giving a few suggestions.

“The most common complaint I hear about Twilight (other than Kristen Stewart’s acting) is the vampire as a romantic figure. I wholeheartedly agree; casting a vampire character as a romantic figure is akin to putting a mosquito on the cover of People magazine.“




Jim Fear on how Realism destroys Sci-fi, Fantasy and Horror Stories.

These genres are fundamentally based on wonder and fantastic elements. Even Low Fantasy which uses supernatural elements very sparingly needs to sell those elements when they are encountered. Besides if I wanted reality I’d look out the window.




Battletech Lore: Origin of the Battlemech [14 mins]

Strangely topically at the moment. As there does seem to be a BattleTech revival of sorts in the works.



A neat piece of history.






J. D. Cohen Declares the Short Story dead and begins a murder investigation.

One thing I’m going to add it that it has proven to quite difficult to start writing short stories when you’ve grown up not reading them.








Jon Mollison on how the new wave of Independent Crowd-funded comics are rekindling his love for the medium.

Seriously – those of us following a policy of, “Don’t Give Money To People Who Hate You” are being boxed into ever tighter corners. Can’t watch TV. Can’t go to the movies. Can’t even enjoy vast swathes of tabletop gaming.”


— Wolfman out—

The womp rats died for nothing,

Nerdlife 13: Never Tell Me the Odds

Where the Krunkalo Roam

I hate leaving the blog quiet like this so here’s another story fragment. Partially inspired by a random gun picture someone posted on Twitter.

357magnumLooks like something you hunt werewolves with.


Ky looked nervously at his friend. “Seiko, we gotta lift soon. Last chance to take a hand blaster or something with you.”

Seiko ears flickered slightly. “Mission parameters.” He said coldly. “No high tech or anything that could draw attention to me.”

“Yeah., yeah John Wayne not Bruce Wayne but dude?” Ky protested.

“Do I tell you how to fix a hyperdrive?” Seiko said harshly. “Don’t tell me how to ranger.”

Ky didn’t have an answer for that. He’d made his opinion on this mission quite clear the night before and he hadn’t been the only one completely baffled by Seiko’s choice of weapon.

This was first and foremost a reconnaissance mission. Although Seiko had been given authority to attempt a solo rescue if he saw an opening his first objective was to locate the hostage. This meant he was going to have to think more like a spy, than a soldier.

He’d settled on the revolver carbine mostly because it was the sort of weapon a down on his luck dinosaur-riding desperado would be carrying. However there were a number of other advantages.

First and foremost the primitive firearm wouldn’t stand out as an obvious military weapon. Some computerized security systems might not even recognize a ‘wheel gun’ as a firearm. Seiko had only the vaguest idea what sort of scanners or surveillance aircraft he might be facing and not looking important enough to shoot had proved to be a useful strategy in the past.

The second point was that a revolver type weapon would not jam even in a full strength “gremlin field.” Even in the event of misfire all Seiko would have to do was keep pulling the trigger. Not a huge deal but noone who had ever survived a gremlin field ambush forgot the experience.

The final point was that .357 magnum was very popular among the Fenririan mercenaries known to be operating on this world. So if things truly went to shit Seiko would at least have chance to resupply from captured ammo, before he went off in a blaze of glory.

Well if he was going to dress up like a space cowboy, he might as well act the part.

Where the Krunkalo Roam

Nerdlife Twelve: Ride The Chaos

Sort of rushing this one but I’m in the mood and there’s enough happening in geek circles to keep the energy levels up. Since this should be going out on Memorial day I’ll start with Vietnam War clip.

‘Tunnel rats’ Vietnam War (1967) army report [3 mins]

Balls; huge brass ones. The only thing more dangerous than urban warfare is fighting underground. Yet there are always those who will rise to the occasion.




An interview on the topic of females warriors on the main Baen website.

I know that this is a very sore topic; especially with the nonsense going on with Battlefield V right now. Still a decent read. Women in a combat role is a sign of a broken society or of absolute military desperation. Truth is both scenarios make for pretty dramatic and interesting storytelling.


Zaklog reads The One Black Stain by Robert E Howard [5 mins]

Solomon Kane is always a win.



I wonder how the Vinland story would work redone in science fiction setting?


Catholic Horror Vampire Detective author Declan Finn rips into West Coast Avengers and highlights the many points of failure.


Geeky Bugle talks about the 2011 Thundercats reboot. [13 mins]

He makes the pitch that the 2011 series was clearly written by someone who had played DnD and in effect the show is an old school tabletop campaign. This is an excellent review especially in the wake of the incoming ‘Tumblrcats Meow’ knockoff being sent out to soy down your children and crush their dreams and spirits.



Quick! Explain ComicsGate in one picture!


And speaking of soy? Well at least we have a treatment for that.

Thundercats meets metal.

His Ghostbusters theme cover is also excellent


An older article from Trever Bierschbach from Frags and Beer discussing one of the great flaws in SJW writing. If special snowflakes characters can never have anything bad happen to them there is no way for an audience to get invested or for any real tension to be built up.


Yes look it’s more Leo. I don’t really need a reason.

Micheal Jackson songs really do translate very well into metals covers.



And yes somebody is trying to send me a hint.


“Mysterious Wandering Monk” and sci-fi author Brian Niemeier righteously gloats about the failure of Solo.

Yes he called it.




A random name generator that covers a very wide selection of things, places, settings and most importantly real world cultures. This helps a lot when you’re trying to come up with names for Space Boer mercenaries. Very useful website.


Spike Valentine of Bleeding Fool gives an in depth review of Solo

Seriously, if you edit out the Han Solo character from this flick, it would be a pretty solid movie! You know how painful that is to say about one of your favorite characters of all time, certainly your favorite Star Wars character, regarding his own fricking film!?”

He also covers some of the rumours going around how Solo might have orignaially been an anti-SJW movie under the original directors (who were fired suddenly with a lot a drama.)

This would also explain why Disney Shills (including actual studio personnel) reacted so strongly to Ethan Van Sciver’s Soylo: A Soy Wars Soyry campaign.



Possible happenings in the OSR circles… or probably just the usual bugmen spazzing out over imaginary Trump-Hitler death robots.


—Wolfman Out—

Still rocking in the memory of the Free World.


Nerdlife Twelve: Ride The Chaos

Nerdlife 11: Fine Call It A Comeback

Yes I’m doing these things again. Sanity is overrated anyway.

Okay let’s start with the obvious news. The first issue of Alt*Hero has been released on Amazon Kindle and physical dead tree copies are promised for two weeks from now. Distribution will be through Ingram and any store with an Ingram account should be able to order it.


Calarts ruins everything.


I still think the real fun starts when Chuck Dixon’s Avalon hits the stands (which is a good reason for your local comic store to set up an Ingram account) as that series is going to have stronger normie appeal than the AltHero series itself but the important thing is that the readers are happy and the SJWs are continuing to REEEEE and call everyone Nazis.

I’ll try to get Issue #1 read by this weekend.


Toy gun commercials for the 50’s and 60’s. [6 Mins]

A fun vision of a lost era. Those tommy guns looked awesome. Of course this was an age there would have been a lot of WWII veterans around to teach the boys about the real deal.

You WILL get the Johnny Eagle theme song stuck in your head. (A small price to pay.)



And all of a sudden I want some nachos.


SF author Michael Z. Willamson gives a long detailed loving rant against the argument that mere rifles are of no use against a tyrannical government.



Hell yes!


A decent read about mining and gathering natural resources form space.




Classroom Physics Experiments [3:30 mins]

The sand patterns are neat but stick around for the artificial ice trick at the end.




Quick article on playing centaurs and Minotaur in DnD (5th edition?)

and yes I can already hear the OSR guys laughing.



This is why it’s important to learn click discipline.


Metal Cover of The Muppet Show Theme [3:12]

Nothing to say here as you’ve probably already clicked on the video.




We’ve all been there. Be careful which mushrooms you eat on a camping trip, kids.


A Technical Analysis of the Gunstar from The Last Starfighter [5 mins]

A great fan piece breaking down what we know about this space fighter.

Also the 1984 movie is well worth hunting down if you haven’t seen it,




Jeffro breaks down just what the Cultural Marxists have done to modern SFF


Benjamin Cheah ponders the meaning of heroism and goes over some of the more flawed concepts.

The section on flawed heroes is definitely worth highlighting. While a protagonist without vices or weaknesses can often be boring in the end we value heroes for their virtues and heroism.

bunny hunter.jpg


The Start of H.P.’s series on Tolkien.




A Sober and Sane Explanation of this whole Calarts Thing.


—Wolfman Out—

Wolfperson Media reserves the right to ‘awoo’ at any time.

Nerdlife 11: Fine Call It A Comeback

Pondering Space Bikers


Sorry for the lack of posts lately but I’ve been even more scatter brained than usual.

I’ve also been playing a lot of Aurora 4X and watching the 90’s Justice League cartoons (which I missed at the time.)

As a result of this I’ve been reconsidering the closely related concepts of ‘Space Truckers’ “Space Truckstops’ and ‘Space Bikers’ and how I might be able to work them into a more pulprev friendly setting. The Breylandverse is out completely but upon further reflection I can slot space bikers into the Nekoverse at the very low end.

Besides travelling in a ‘space bike’ over interstellar distances is possibly the craziest pulpiest thing I can think of. So not having space bikers in what is  supposed to be a ‘fun’ setting is therefore a crime against pulp.

So how you get space bikes and why would anyone actually use one?

We need to give them clear advantages and drawbacks.

The first advantage is the simplest… space bikes are fast. In fact they are the second fastest way to send a message over interstellar distances making them vital for coordinating dispersed military campaigns. Even more so if you military force is operating on a tight budget and can’t use massive planetside FTL comm facilities. This creates a military and commercial purpose for space bikes and plants the seeds for a space biker culture to form.

Space bikes are also very small craft and able to operate planetside or from a very Spartan base. This means that they can operate at the fringes of the law.

How small? Well it turns out that the very high tech Hogg drive which powers the space bike is mass limited at around roughly eight tons. Which is still a decent size aircraft but not much for a space craft that requires interstellar range.

This means that every kilogram counts when building or refitting a space hog… and logically results in a great many “no fat chicks” jokes in space biker and space trucker culture. If you’re over the mass limit you can’t use the micro-wormhole function and are stuck in system until you lighten your load (often by dumping a few rounds of ordinance in the direction of your enemy.)

As for the Hogg drive itself. These devices are very valuable and require some very rare industrial technology to produce. In some sectors Hogg drives and Rigg drives (which power Space Trucks) are practically irreplaceable artifacts from the height of the Codteki Empire. The good news however is that these engines are very durable and long lasting. Even a badly worn and battered Hogg drive salvaged from an ancient battle field is still going to be worth building a space hog around.

So what about the space bikers? What roles do they fill? Often they find themselves working as low budget pirates, smugglers and discount mercenaries. A space bike is no match for a proper starfighter; even an advanced trainer is probably going to able to take on two or three space bikes. So this means that space bikers have to pick their fights very carefully. High tech but low end. Watching, waiting, scavenging but then when the time is right risking everything in one great gamble. Such as the life of a space biker gang.

Pondering Space Bikers