A Completely Hypothetical Scenario

Humor me for a second. Let’s say that there was a planet that was experiencing a covert civil war. By this I mean that most of the fighting was being done cloak and dagger, by various factions within intelligence agencies and the corporate bureaucracies. Of course the occasional open skirmish between paramilitaries erupts from time to time but for the most part there is a gentleman’s agreement to keep things as quiet as possible and not alarm the public.

Now assume for a moment that one of the two major factions had control of the planetary weather control system. On one hand this is a powerful weapon but they need to be very careful not to push their luck too far. After all they are trying to conquer the planet, not destroy it and all major factions have access to WMDs. There is also the problem that if they keep messing with the weather too much the general population is going to notice something’s up and the last thing any of the elites want is the average citizen pulling his grandfather’s rifle out of the closet and getting involved.

Therefore use of the planetary weather control system is limited not so much by capability but political factors and the need to avoid escalating the conflict into open warfare.

So now that we have the basic parameters let’s ask the real question. What advantages would causing a continent-wide cold snap around the time of the major winter holidays confer?

Interestingly is not the northern cities that suffer. As a population that is prepared for -35C winters at least know what to do in -45C weather even if they are not particularly fans of it. Plus even the poorest citizen of a northern city is going to own a proper winter coat.

The southern cities also are barely effected. While snow in unexpected places can cause panic and a few traffic accidents, there will be no real damage to infrastructure.

It is the temperate cities in the middle of the continent that are most effected. A population that does not normally experience harsh winters is unlikely to own heavy winter clothing and infrastructure may fail if suddenly subjects to unexpected stresses.

Now what if the major political centers on this hypothetical continent were moderate temperate cities near a coastline. Well not only would we have cold weather in a city where the general population is unprepared for severe winter weather but there would also be much heavier snowfall than usual.

And this of course is during the major winter holidays, the time of year where air travel is highest. A northern airport is going to have a great of snow removal capacity, a temperate city airport is not. Therefore causing a cold snap is going to have the effect of shutting down or restricting air travel near the politically important coastal cities. Why do this?

Perhaps it’s a measure to make moving key personnel very difficult for the opposing faction.

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A Completely Hypothetical Scenario

Star Wars: The Last Jedi and Why The Pod People Loved It

Soy Wars: The Divide

ThelastrussianWe think that’s a Poe… but nobody can be sure about anything.

 

It’s a well known fact that movie critics and general audience members look for completely different things in a movie. So having a large difference between the scores given by the critics and those given by the fans is not unusual. However for some reason people seem to be very touchy about critics giving the latest Star Wars movie a rating about 93 while the general audience rating is hovering around the high 50s. A forty point difference is a bit much and mere shilling and SOCJUS does not completely explain such a huge difference.

 

WCBS on the excuses for the critic / audience divide.

Yes the critics really are trying to deflect away the ratings split but claiming that mean people on the internet are being mean. The New Ghostbusters movie and Justice League are given as examples of a critic / audience split.

Welcome to JediGate. Yes we’ve been here before. Just get your passport stamped and your bags through customs. Don’t forget to tip the Wookie either.

And NO I DIDN’T LIKE THE MOVIE (1) Nor did anyone in the PulpRev or Superversive SF circles (as far as I can tell.)

but some people did like the movie… and this must be investigated further.

There’s no real need to explain why thus objectively bad movie isn’t resonating with general audiences and the reasons why Star Wars Fans hate The Last Jedi back just as much as the movie hates them have already been explored in depth and style.

http://www.castaliahouse.com/the-last-jedi-is-star-wars-for-people-who-hate-star-wars/

What therefore remains to be explained is why is there a small but noticeable group of people who did enjoy this terrible abomination of a movie? Why did the pod people like The Last Jedi?

First of all we can discount the SJW elements who are praising Soy Wars: Episode Hate (2) as they have no actual opinions of their own and are simply going along with the groupthink.

Professional shills and movie critics can also be discounted. Even those that didn’t take the Mouse Money are too terrified of being blacklisted in a Disney controlled entertainment industry.

This leaves a very distinct group of people: Movie Buffs and Generic Pop Culture Geeks.

You know who I’m talking about…

These are the Jack of All Trades Geeks who are not hardcore fans of any one thing but focus on keeping up with pop culture and current happenings. They typically learn enough to have a five minute conversation about virtually any geek fandom. These are the Shallow Geeks (3). They try to have fun every where they can and don’t get too tied into any one thing.

They also WATCH A LOT OF MOVIES

In fact the only difference between a Shallow Geek and a Professional Movie Critic is that the Shallow Geek typically has a real job and may have read several non-Harry Potter books (4).

Again you know who I’m talking about.

So why do hardcore movie watchers enjoy Star Wars: The Last Jedi?

Well we could ask them but none of them seem to be able to give a full answer.

The best responses involve vague worded variations on, “It was something different. It was unexpected.”

So let’s work from that. Something about this movie was different from all the other movies our Pod Person has recently watched.

For that we have to go back the original George Lucas Star Wars and what did George Lucas famously do? He made very heavy use of Joseph Campbell’s Monomyth theories

https://infogalactic.com/info/Joseph_Campbell

George Lucas did other things but this is what the Hollywood types latched onto and very quickly hack screenwriters begin to incorporate elements of A Hero With A Thousand Faces into practically every Hollywood movie… and things have gotten to the point that for all practical effects modern movies and entertainment all have pretty much the same plot being told over and over again with only the names changed.

Joseph Campbell’s work is not invalid but it has been overused so much that is has become a cancerous tumour on the face of modern storytelling.

There are other ways to tell a story than the standard three act set.

fictionarcs.jpeg

Your blue-pilled, Rick and Morty loving, coworker in the next cubicle is technically correct. (5) Star Wars: The Last Jedi actually did something completely different. A HOLLYWOOD MOVIE DIRECTLY SHAT UPON THE JOSEPH CAMPBELL MONOMYTH.

And when someone who watches a lot of movies (most of which have the same plot timing) they immediately notice that something is new and different even if they can’t quite put their finger on it.

Of course attacking the monomyth is simply a prerequisite to shitting on and destroying the entire rest of the Star Wars mythos (6) but that’s another topic entirely.

But at least we now have an explanation for the critics reaction and the ratings split. Movie critics were so overjoyed by the subversion of the Monomyth that they subconsciously forgave the sins of an otherwise terrible movie. The mass audience on the other hand did not.

End Notes:

1 Among other things as a Space Navy League loyalist I found the tactics portrayed in The Last Jedi to so stupid and nonsensical that I took it as a personal insult.

2 Soy Wars: as in all the meat has been removed and replaced with filler. Also T-Levels are dropping at an alarming level.

3 As opposed to the Deep Geek who specializes in a small number of niche hobbies and gains mastery over them. Shallow Geeks are the guys you see on The Big Bang Theory. Deep Geeks are the guys discussing the differences between Dominions 4 and 5 and whether or not a blessed Jotun Scout Rush is a viable strategy with the new commander recruiting mechanics.

4 Not always a sure thing.

5 The best kind of correct.

6 Hollywood never understood Star Wars or why people enjoyed those movies. I continue to hold that the real genius of Star Wars was having a setting that was epic (galaxy spanning) in scale but where one man in a starfighter could make a difference. Of course you need actual heroic characters for that.

Other Links:

Bradford C.Walker further explains what he means by Narrative Warfare.

http://empiresmustfall.blogspot.ca/2017/12/narrative-warfarethe-last-jedi-cultural.html

The Mixed GM/ Not John Daker offers suggestions on how to put out the dumpster fire.

https://themixedgm.wordpress.com/2017/12/16/the-last-jedi-how-to-fix-it/

My suggestions involved having a movie start off with a fighter pilot duel between Diversity Wedge and an First Order ace played by Nicolas Cage.

Also Twi’lek dancing girls…

—Wolfman Out—

Star Wars: The Last Jedi and Why The Pod People Loved It

Star Wars The Last Jedi is Unwatchable Trash

and I can’t really say I was that surprised.

but don’t take my word for it. Listen to this random Angry As All Fuck Aussie.

 

Heroes who don’t do anything heroic. Soy Villains and subplots that don’t go anywhere.

Worst of all the movie is chalk full of forced diversity and what appears to be very deliberate Narrative Warfare.

The Last Jedi wasn’t a failed attempt to tell a story it was a carefully crafted knife in the back to anyone who still considered themselves a Star Wars fan.

Star Wars The Last Jedi is Unwatchable Trash

Outward Bound: Colonizing Jupiter

Going to ease back on the tinfoil for moment and get back to science fiction. The newest episode of Issac Arthur’s Outward Bound was released today and it definitely lives up to the bill. Easily one of the best channels on Youtube. [30mins]

If you love big idea science fiction this should be right up your alley. This episode covers the colonization of Jupiter and it’s moons. Focusing first on Callisto (which to my surprise may be the best candidate for an early colony) then on Europa and it’s large ocean. Finally colonization options for Jupiter itself are discussed along with some very very big ideas.

Outward Bound: Colonizing Jupiter

Catgirls Needs Claws

Catgirls need claws: The standard weapons of the Nekoite militia.

Armies need equipment but what do you when you need to fight an interstellar guerrilla war and your army consists mostly of ninety pound catgirls?

What if resources are desperately scarce and you need to focus all of your high tech industry towards building up your space navy and keeping as many starfighters operational as near-humanly possible?

Well then one possible solution would be to mass produce low technology weapons copied from history and use those to equip your ground forces. Not an ideal solution but at least it’s a solution and the Nekoite Clans just so happen to have excellent records, blueprints and databases of a lot of Old Terra technology.

 

Lightweight, reliable and significantly better than nothing; the standard weapon of the nekoite militia is a folding stock copy of the M1 carbine.

https://infogalactic.com/info/M1_carbine

The M1 carbine was also one of the most cost effective weapons used by the United States Military during World War II. At the beginning of World War II the average production cost for an M1 carbine was approximately $45, about half the cost of an M1 rifle at approximately $85 and about a fifth of the cost of a Thompson submachine gun at approximately $225. The .30 Carbine ammunition was also far cheaper to produce than the standard .30-06 ammunition; used less resources, was smaller, lighter, faster and easier to make. These were major factors in the United States Military decision to adopt the M1 carbine, especially when considering the vast numbers of weapons and ammunition manufactured and transported by the United States during World War II.”

Again the Nekoite clans are very lightly equipped and need weapons that can be mass produced while conserving high tech alloys and rare minerals. A 1940’s tech rifle requiring only a few basic computer assisted machine tools and some medium grade steel is for all practical purposes free. The only real cost is getting sufficient ammunition produced and distributed.

Officers and better equipped “Ranger units” are occasionally equipped with P90s or late model M-4s although that does complicate the ammunition situation. Ranger units are also going to have at least handful of laser or plasma weapons which can come as rather nasty surprise to an opponent who gets a little too dismissive of mere catgirls.

 

The next weapon is the M-79 grenade launcher. Why? Because why not? It also happens to be a very flexible weapon. Standard HE rounds are all fun and games but the nekoites have also developed a hollow charge HEAT “crackerjack” grenade that is just powerful enough to punch through a typical armored spacesuit. Again cost-effectiveness is the key. That said commando units can get their paws on some pretty exotic ammo of the mission is important enough.

https://infogalactic.com/info/M79_grenade_launcher

 

And then we have the panzerfaust. Yes it’s a direct copy of the WWII weapon. Well usually a direct copy… sometimes you get a special snowflake panzerfaust with a plasma core warhead but that’s strictly for fighting giant robots. Again the panzerfaust was chosen as a low tech weapon that could be ridiculously mass produced and handed out to anyone who needed one.

https://infogalactic.com/info/Panzerfaust

 

Nyan! Desu! Banzai!!!

https://infogalactic.com/info/Wakizashi

Well? What else would an army of catgirls carry as a sidearm? Besides if you’ll going to die for Holy Mother Terra you need to die with style as you take as many Face-Eating Giant Space Spiders with you as you can.

 

—Wolfman Out—

“I regret that I have but nine lives to give for my county. We’ll meet again in Meowhalla.” —Seiko

“Don’t be so negative, Bro. You got this.” — Ky’s response.

Catgirls Needs Claws

Well It’s a Start

To excited not to post this. Working title is To Seek A Glorious Death.

 

In hindsight perhaps telling the Anti-Human League to go pound sand hadn’t been the wisest of decisions but the Don’sora system was too valuable a piece of real estate to not give up without a fight. Besides if the Armed Forces of Humanity in Exile were ever going to retake Sol they needed to make a stand somewhere and this was as good a place as any. The problem was that it was very likely to be a last stand.

“Tell me Karika, what do you think of our chances?” General Fletcher asked the alien mercenary standing next to him.

The codteki seemed confused by the question. “This battle is unexpected and our enemy has been taken off guard. It is doubtful that any of their planners would have foreseen the need to prepare for a full scale planetary invasion. Too long have they feasted on unworthy prey.”

“We’re hardly prepared ourselves…”

The codteki turned to face the general in a sudden motion that was frighteningly uncanny even after all the years Fletcher has spent around members of his race. “Do not discount the conviction of our warriors or the sharpness of our claws. On this battleground we shall fight for victory and not merely for a glorious death.”

The human was stunned for a moment. The Free Terrans were only a fraction of the Coalition Forces holding Rylis spaceport, yet the burden of command had fallen to him for almost symbolic reasons. “This seems like a strange place.”

“So was a place called The Alamo.” The alien replied.

Fletcher didn’t let the surprise show on his face but his heart raced at the reference. If the codteki had studied human history that thoroughly… He let the thought go. That was something for another time. ”A moral victory, a hill to die on.”

“Let the Enemy come and we shall see who will do the dying.” Karika replied before turning and walking away. “God stands with us. It matters not what stands before us.”

Well It’s a Start

A Quick Checklist

The PulpRev crowd has been a very bad influence on me.

This is mostly at the brainstorm stage but I’ve been thinking about how cram all of the following into a single battle. Definitely keeping Rawle Nyanzi’s recent articles about romantic weapons in mind here.

 

-Swords (Katanas included)

-Tanks

-Flamethrowers

-Starfighters

-Interstellar cruise missiles

-Giant Fucking Robots!!!

Super Heavy Combat Walker: Callsign “Big Stompy”

-Catgirls

-Powered Armor

-Combat Hovercraft

-Kaiju “Bio-Titans”

-Dinosaurs

-Submarines In Space “Subphase ships”

 

Optional: These are in the maybe section.

Psychics

Dragons

Cyborg Alien Bear Gangster*

Wolfgirls

Deus Vult

Motorcycles

 

*Not sure if this character will be present. I’d have a hard time justifying him getting stuck in the middle of a planetary invasion. He’s usually pretty good at avoiding those sorts of sticky situations.

A Quick Checklist