The Pitch

Writer: So what did you think?

Editor: It’s just World War II dogfighting in space… with catgirls.

Writer: Yes that’s exactly what it is.

Editor: Did you have to add the catgirls?

Writer: Yes.

Editor: Okay… I was just wondering if you had a point to all of this.

Writer: It’s endless legions of genetically engineered catgirls on a brutal hopeless death crusade to liberate Holy Mother Terra and rescue humanity from the tyrannical reign of the Evil Pink Enslave-O Bunnies. It’s space opera! There doesn’t need to be a point!

Editor: Just making sure we’re on the same page here.

Writer: Ridiculous nerd fantasy is what we do right?

Editor: Right… So where are the catboys during all this?

Writer: Catboys are not important.

Editor: I’m just asking because we will get novel length forum threads discussing the toxic nature of nekovian gender relations.

Writer: Good it’ll help build the fanbase for the series.

Editor: Yes I can just imagine the fan ‘artwork’ now.

Writer: I try not think to about it too much. Any other notes?

Editor: Blorgo the Annihilator needs some love.

Writer: Noted. Will add epic backstory of tragic and woe.

Editor: What else? Oh that part where the one alien tries to explain the exact nature of its gender to our clueless hero. Hilarious but did it really have to be five pages?

Writer: I already cut that scene down from seven pages.

Editor: Hmm… we’ll look into that later. Maybe cut it out and work into its own story. Could be Hugo worthy.

Writer: Well…

Editor: Don’t touch anything. I mean just think about it for now.

Writer: Is this something we should be focusing our time and effort on?

Editor: Only if it’s really funny.

Writer: Okay.

Editor: Oh and retreating from battle by hyperdrive is referred to as ‘Frenching out?’

Writer: Rule of funny. Besides I had to call it something. It’s explained in story.

Editor: Our French readers might be horribly offended by that.

Writer: We don’t have any French readers.

Editor: Our hypothetical French readers might be offended by that.

Writer: We weren’t going to be able to sell the movie rights anyway.

Editor: Okay well then I only got problem left with this story but it’s a big one.

Writer: What?

Editor: Where the hell are the giant freaking robots?

Writer: Oh no you don’t.

Editor: Giant freaking robots are recommended by nine of of ten waifus.

Writer: Hey you get your Mechwarrior out of my Wing Commander. I’m not mixing genres any more that I already have.

Editor: Oh come on think about it. You’ve already got a handwavium reason for why the combat is taking place at such short range and low speeds. It’s almost a perfect setting to work in a little Mobile Suit action.

Writer: …

Editor: Dude come on! Let’s see just how much awesome we can cram into this thing. Go for the high score. Chicks dig giant freaking robots.

Writer: errrr… okay maybe in the sequel.

Editor: Just leave the door open. Remember combined arms wins wars.

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The Pitch

One thought on “The Pitch

  1. Uriel says:

    8.5/10. Would read 😀

    Please keep blogging. You’ve collated some very useful and other very funny bits of information in an easy-to-read form.

    Like

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